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Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
What happens when the bed Rockets are Used
The Phone Of Doom.........
The Phone of DOOM... Located at the creepiest hobbit motel!
The only thing intact outside the Dwarf dwelling oddly enough was a pay phone...... If in fact anyone does stay here... ummmmm funny I think they will not have a quarter.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
Ads that Work! Really? Wrinkle cream?
I don't think I need to add too much to this.......... Are they selling a lot of wrinkle cream using this ad or strategy? In their defense I didn't follow the link to see if there was an after picture where she looks 21 and a centerfold......
No offense but when I am her age..... wrinkle cream is going to be the last of my worries...
No offense but when I am her age..... wrinkle cream is going to be the last of my worries...
No offense but when I am her age..... wrinkle cream is going to be the last of my worries...
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Facebook, Saturday Night Live and the Miracle of Victoria's Secret!
In response to a Facebook Post on the Worst of Anything Fan Site.... I decided to turn it into a blog... I realized my answer got a little long winded as I started to realize..... well read on........
Original Post went something like this....
Worst of Anything! Just watched a commercial that explained 1 out of 4 women cannot read their pregnancy test..... I am thinking she should use protection and eliminate that gene pool :)
First responses were ( remember this is a facebook thread gone awry HA!)A bunch of thumbs ups for "Like" No need for an unlike button.... remember if you can't say anything nice well then say nothing at all!
Next response ( Visit this Blog HILARIOUS!!) from Cheese in My Hair (No that isn't her name,and she didn't pay me to do that, just click on the link.. geez)
Next Response (This one is going to be link less, If you really want to know who she is well you would have already known because you would have clicked on the first link and well yes, you aren't perhaps that one out of four are you? Probably not if you got that! JUST KIDDING!) Moving right along : that is hilarious. dare i mention the infomercials i saw at 4am when i was unable to sleep. one called colon flow (made me think of colon blow ad on SNL that Phil Hartman used to do) and told how much poop weighs if you don't go to the bathroom more than once a day. omg. another one was on a Spanish channel and had to do with a tummy slimming ... See Moredevice that apparently made all your fat move up to your boobs because all those women on the ad were at least DD and of course young and hot. but for $14.99 i was actually willing to give it a try.
And yes that comment my friends is what inspired the next few bits of chatter from my mind... ;o)
I am certainly all for the Tummy to the top concept, and as always Victoria's Secret beat them to it! YEP! Victoria Secret already did it for me for about $50 bucks before coupons and "boob bucks"Not really what they are called but I find it hard to refer to them as Angel bucks, because well being Angelic is really a little far off the target now isn't it? Especially when talking about skin, cleavage and deception...now I am not sure a real Angel's take on skin and cleavage, but I am pretty sure they aren't about deception. Even the Victoria's Secret models aren't deceptive... they really are that hot, AND thank goodness for that or we couldn't get significant others to shell out that kind of dough for something so small. They are simply BRILLIANT when it comes to fulfilling a woman's needs. Not only have they devised extraordinary little devices to make us feel sexy and beautiful, but they do things to us that nature never intended, and for a lot less than augmentation.
Original Post went something like this....
Worst of Anything! Just watched a commercial that explained 1 out of 4 women cannot read their pregnancy test..... I am thinking she should use protection and eliminate that gene pool :)
First responses were ( remember this is a facebook thread gone awry HA!)A bunch of thumbs ups for "Like" No need for an unlike button.... remember if you can't say anything nice well then say nothing at all!
Next response ( Visit this Blog HILARIOUS!!) from Cheese in My Hair (No that isn't her name,and she didn't pay me to do that, just click on the link.. geez)
Next Response (This one is going to be link less, If you really want to know who she is well you would have already known because you would have clicked on the first link and well yes, you aren't perhaps that one out of four are you? Probably not if you got that! JUST KIDDING!) Moving right along : that is hilarious. dare i mention the infomercials i saw at 4am when i was unable to sleep. one called colon flow (made me think of colon blow ad on SNL that Phil Hartman used to do) and told how much poop weighs if you don't go to the bathroom more than once a day. omg. another one was on a Spanish channel and had to do with a tummy slimming ... See Moredevice that apparently made all your fat move up to your boobs because all those women on the ad were at least DD and of course young and hot. but for $14.99 i was actually willing to give it a try.
And yes that comment my friends is what inspired the next few bits of chatter from my mind... ;o)
I am certainly all for the Tummy to the top concept, and as always Victoria's Secret beat them to it! YEP! Victoria Secret already did it for me for about $50 bucks before coupons and "boob bucks"Not really what they are called but I find it hard to refer to them as Angel bucks, because well being Angelic is really a little far off the target now isn't it? Especially when talking about skin, cleavage and deception...now I am not sure a real Angel's take on skin and cleavage, but I am pretty sure they aren't about deception. Even the Victoria's Secret models aren't deceptive... they really are that hot, AND thank goodness for that or we couldn't get significant others to shell out that kind of dough for something so small. They are simply BRILLIANT when it comes to fulfilling a woman's needs. Not only have they devised extraordinary little devices to make us feel sexy and beautiful, but they do things to us that nature never intended, and for a lot less than augmentation.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Patience as I fiddle with the code.... Please =)
Yea yea yea.... I am a GREAT designer if I had a great coder.... note slow like me well then..... ta da.... I would have a rockin website, what I need is someone that can look at my design as I describe what is coupled in my head and make it work...... quicker than my 200th try..... know any one? I would trade a project with them =)
Anyway please excuse the mess as I twist it up a little and please be patient the full blow, is coming along nicely. AWESOME new pictures, stories and YES YES YES... the good the bad and the ugly!!
Anyway please excuse the mess as I twist it up a little and please be patient the full blow, is coming along nicely. AWESOME new pictures, stories and YES YES YES... the good the bad and the ugly!!
Friday, February 12, 2010
Valentine's Day!
The big V DAY (Valentine's Day) (and yes I still use the middle school joke VD and crack myself up!!) or for you singles out there Single Awareness Day, which disturbingly enough is referred to with he acronym SAD..... someone didn't think that through did they? Or is it a sick joke by a couple married for 3000 years?
I totally dig the Anti-Valentine's Party idea..... not because I am against love, simply i am against $300 bouquets of flowers that i will forget about and my favorite candy doesn't come in a heart. Not that I don't think couples should celebrate their love, they should but I think the more creativity involved the better.....
Which brings me to my gift...... for those that agree with the no flowers, I have enough jewelry, and really do I have to bite the ends off fifty chocolates before I get to one I like concepts of Valentine's holiday giving and aren't really creative, well there is a company out there for you!! Or for me and I am positive there are many more, but again this is my story about my gift....
Saturday, January 9, 2010
This is NOT Mine, But I really had to share!!
I try to stick with ALL original content but occasionally I come across something that is just too funny to pass up...... this is one of those times!!! Props to the creative and sick minds that put this together =)
Friday, January 8, 2010
I finally found out what a Bud Light Girl was......... .... Who Knew??
Ok so you ever had that really?? That's it moment??
Well I was at an Awesome Party at my local Hangout Taco Mac in Douglasville and prior, I was sending out the invites, promotions, etc.... and everyone kept emphasizing and REMINDING me that the "Bud Light Girls" were coming...... well I am a chick so I was like So what..... and I kindly asked the owner and the Bud Light rep "What about the Bud Light Guys, for the Ladies", the first laughed and said he would check into it..... the second never responded..... in his defense he may have never seen it... it was a post on a facebook status message.....
ANYWAY!! LO and Behold I get to the party and I am looking around for these highly praised "Bud Light Girls" .... I saw nothing.... I envisioned scantily clad hot women in front of giant beer buckets handing out beers and prizes! I kept looking.... and still nothing!! All the BUD reps were gathered at a table in the front and I eyed their table.... No scantily clad women there....
There were however these two very cute young looking girls, completely covered....I thought they were one of the guys girlfriends or something!!
IMAGINE if you will my COMPLETE and total disappointment that THESE two cute girls, that were in completely modest attire were IN FACT the Bud Light Girls.... WTH!!!
Now don't get me wrong, I am not into girls..... but I had pictured the "Bud Light Guys" as being Chippendale like.... scantily clad and handing out beads to overly excited middle age empty nesting moms like myself (Not me personally I have my own hottie at home... Love you honey, in case he reads this) HA!........ Yeah..... COMPLETE disappointment..... When did the beer companies put clothes on their representatives..... If they do provide us "Bud Light Boys" what do I say to my girlfriends I have encouraged to come when well...... yes...... I think I met the "Bud Light Boys"......
AND WORSE...
That means the 44 year old guy that gave us a shirt and was introduced as Pa Pa Stud Muffin IS their "Bud Light Boy"........ Awww although we did get personally delivered Bud T-shirts and Koozies... and he bought my new friend dinner and drinks..... couldn't it have happened shirtless, ripped and young????
Not that I should be so picky .... I mean we certainly got more personal service..... and I'm no Bud Light Girl.... but come on.......
Well I was at an Awesome Party at my local Hangout Taco Mac in Douglasville and prior, I was sending out the invites, promotions, etc.... and everyone kept emphasizing and REMINDING me that the "Bud Light Girls" were coming...... well I am a chick so I was like So what..... and I kindly asked the owner and the Bud Light rep "What about the Bud Light Guys, for the Ladies", the first laughed and said he would check into it..... the second never responded..... in his defense he may have never seen it... it was a post on a facebook status message.....
ANYWAY!! LO and Behold I get to the party and I am looking around for these highly praised "Bud Light Girls" .... I saw nothing.... I envisioned scantily clad hot women in front of giant beer buckets handing out beers and prizes! I kept looking.... and still nothing!! All the BUD reps were gathered at a table in the front and I eyed their table.... No scantily clad women there....
There were however these two very cute young looking girls, completely covered....I thought they were one of the guys girlfriends or something!!
IMAGINE if you will my COMPLETE and total disappointment that THESE two cute girls, that were in completely modest attire were IN FACT the Bud Light Girls.... WTH!!!
Now don't get me wrong, I am not into girls..... but I had pictured the "Bud Light Guys" as being Chippendale like.... scantily clad and handing out beads to overly excited middle age empty nesting moms like myself (Not me personally I have my own hottie at home... Love you honey, in case he reads this) HA!........ Yeah..... COMPLETE disappointment..... When did the beer companies put clothes on their representatives..... If they do provide us "Bud Light Boys" what do I say to my girlfriends I have encouraged to come when well...... yes...... I think I met the "Bud Light Boys"......
AND WORSE...
That means the 44 year old guy that gave us a shirt and was introduced as Pa Pa Stud Muffin IS their "Bud Light Boy"........ Awww although we did get personally delivered Bud T-shirts and Koozies... and he bought my new friend dinner and drinks..... couldn't it have happened shirtless, ripped and young????
Not that I should be so picky .... I mean we certainly got more personal service..... and I'm no Bud Light Girl.... but come on.......
Monday, January 4, 2010
It just keeps getting better....... ready for a Photo shoot? If you kill 'em we got you covered!!!
Awww yes yes folks this is a FULL size Medical Gurney .... NO I was not at a hospital......
Exactly how accident prone is one that they have their own gurney??
Better yet was where I was.... this building provided me with COUNTLESS pictures..... we were there supporting James on a photo shoot and creating reel...... SO while they were "taping" we were exploring and WOW what an adventure =)
The condition of the bathroom may explain the gurney, HA!!
Or the elevator......... One of those times where you know you need to take the stairs..... oh but wait I will be making a photo montage of this place..... we laughed until we were in tears..... stay tuned!! The "View From Beyond the Stall" continues...... I don't think there will EVER be a lack of material!! HA!
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Really??? Can that be possible??
Ok my New Years resolution and commitment to me......... post more...... get it out of my head before I forget it and share the silliness that is my life.
New things are happening all for the better. I am not usually all that serious, but here we go...... on shot at normal..... bear with me! Ha!!
What is it they say about one door closing and another one opening?? I believe it to be true, I always have and this year life has brought me a door slamming shut. I could not be more grateful sometimes for the things that would make the ordinary person panic!! As the door slammed and I was faced with the harsh reality that something that meant so much to me did not share my mutual live or respect it has given me the courage to do what I wanted to do, needed to do and love to do. I would have never done it on my own...... or not with the fervor and commitment that I can now!!
I have never been more excited about the direction my life is taking!! It is full of friends, love, parties and laughter and I cannot wait to share my journey!!
So my commitment is to post more, daily, play harder, plan the BIGGEST and baddest parties for the COOLEST folks!! Promote the music I love..... share my offbeat humor and make this the beginning of the best times of my life!!
After the dust settles I will explain my recent career change.
In the meantime, look out for the website, my favorite things and join me for a fun time full of laughs and BAD pants!!
I love you, I thank you
Tammy
New things are happening all for the better. I am not usually all that serious, but here we go...... on shot at normal..... bear with me! Ha!!
What is it they say about one door closing and another one opening?? I believe it to be true, I always have and this year life has brought me a door slamming shut. I could not be more grateful sometimes for the things that would make the ordinary person panic!! As the door slammed and I was faced with the harsh reality that something that meant so much to me did not share my mutual live or respect it has given me the courage to do what I wanted to do, needed to do and love to do. I would have never done it on my own...... or not with the fervor and commitment that I can now!!
I have never been more excited about the direction my life is taking!! It is full of friends, love, parties and laughter and I cannot wait to share my journey!!
So my commitment is to post more, daily, play harder, plan the BIGGEST and baddest parties for the COOLEST folks!! Promote the music I love..... share my offbeat humor and make this the beginning of the best times of my life!!
After the dust settles I will explain my recent career change.
In the meantime, look out for the website, my favorite things and join me for a fun time full of laughs and BAD pants!!
I love you, I thank you
Tammy
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Another Bad Tiger Woods Joke.....
I apologize I just can't help it..... he is all over the news and they keep popping into my head!
Mirror mirror on the wall is Tiger woods even hot at all, If his putter wasn't so straight could he even get a date?? Men all you need is a fat wallet and a wedgie..... sand wedgie.... ok maybe I should stop with the Tiger jokes.... it is sooooo hard =)
Mirror mirror on the wall is Tiger woods even hot at all, If his putter wasn't so straight could he even get a date?? Men all you need is a fat wallet and a wedgie..... sand wedgie.... ok maybe I should stop with the Tiger jokes.... it is sooooo hard =)
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Someone asked me today........
A dear friend that I have known since I was a teen posted this on my facebook status today......
I would love to know your secret for such blissful happiness in the early mornings, Tammy. It takes a few hours until I'm fit for speaking to people! Whatever it is, every morning you make me smile!!
My response..........
Ahhh ancient Japanese secret..... O no secret I am just really thankful for everything and everyone amazing in my life....... even on THE worst of days, with the worst of luck, I know that I am so freakin fortunate to have such a strong support system, plus generally as with all MPD folks the "Hazel" voice comes out to talk.... Just kidding! No voices..... well none named Hazel ;o)
Plus I know I have one more good day to suck air HA!
This was not part of the post just some additional thoughts.....
As you know I have the worst luck ever..... but it always brings the best things to me....... I could not be more pleased with the way things turn out most of the time..... even when it may seem bleak to others..... =)
I love my daughter, my family, my friends and my fans!!
Keep watching!! I have a news update and the best is yet to come!!!
I would love to know your secret for such blissful happiness in the early mornings, Tammy. It takes a few hours until I'm fit for speaking to people! Whatever it is, every morning you make me smile!!
My response..........
Ahhh ancient Japanese secret..... O no secret I am just really thankful for everything and everyone amazing in my life....... even on THE worst of days, with the worst of luck, I know that I am so freakin fortunate to have such a strong support system, plus generally as with all MPD folks the "Hazel" voice comes out to talk.... Just kidding! No voices..... well none named Hazel ;o)
Plus I know I have one more good day to suck air HA!
This was not part of the post just some additional thoughts.....
As you know I have the worst luck ever..... but it always brings the best things to me....... I could not be more pleased with the way things turn out most of the time..... even when it may seem bleak to others..... =)
I love my daughter, my family, my friends and my fans!!
Keep watching!! I have a news update and the best is yet to come!!!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Ahhh So happy I still got it...... Nothing more flattering.....
Ahhh So happy I still got it...... Nothing more flattering.....
So I get to pick up my daughter tonight back from college..... woot woot, nothing more exciting!!<---- that I really mean I miss her soooooo much!! She chooses to meet me at the Varsity (She lost her keys and hitched a ride with a college friend, a whole different story) yes the Downtown Atlanta Varsity..... the one with lots of parking and plenty of homeless dudes.......
So I am approached, as we are gathering her things and putting them in my car, by a man who "just wants something to eat"...... well of course I never finish anything I order, and had a WHOLE order of Onion rings and a chili cheese steak that had NOT been touched..... I said "Here I have food" He says (and I kind you not he really said this..) "What do you have??" Really ??? I mean if I was begging for food I would not be picky.... I would be grateful...... yea yea you know.... he wanted money...
Who has money these days?? I am waititng for the day when I tell them I don't have any cash and they pull out a keypad and ask me for my pin....
Ok So I tell him I don't have any cash .... he says Anything, change".... Ok so I dig in the cup holder for about thirty- five cents..... as I do this... OH YES this totally happened.... he says....
"Hey Shorty those your kids??? You gotcha yo self a fine a@@ mmmm hmmm. " Sho don't look like a sexy woman...... "I'm not even going to continue with the banter that I so politely tried to ignore!!
Really?? Did the guy asking me for change j and my leftovers just try to get with me??? Hmmmm so is our first date a dumpster dive?? And when I sleep over do I bring my own box or will he share his????????
So at forty I at the very least know that I have still GOT IT.... at the very least with the man on the corner.... See ladies there is no reason to stay in that relationship...... there is a new man on every corner... Literally, just bring a cheeseburger and some spare change....
Hey Shorty you look so good to me!!
So I get to pick up my daughter tonight back from college..... woot woot, nothing more exciting!!<---- that I really mean I miss her soooooo much!! She chooses to meet me at the Varsity (She lost her keys and hitched a ride with a college friend, a whole different story) yes the Downtown Atlanta Varsity..... the one with lots of parking and plenty of homeless dudes.......
So I am approached, as we are gathering her things and putting them in my car, by a man who "just wants something to eat"...... well of course I never finish anything I order, and had a WHOLE order of Onion rings and a chili cheese steak that had NOT been touched..... I said "Here I have food" He says (and I kind you not he really said this..) "What do you have??" Really ??? I mean if I was begging for food I would not be picky.... I would be grateful...... yea yea you know.... he wanted money...
Who has money these days?? I am waititng for the day when I tell them I don't have any cash and they pull out a keypad and ask me for my pin....
Ok So I tell him I don't have any cash .... he says Anything, change".... Ok so I dig in the cup holder for about thirty- five cents..... as I do this... OH YES this totally happened.... he says....
"Hey Shorty those your kids??? You gotcha yo self a fine a@@ mmmm hmmm. " Sho don't look like a sexy woman...... "I'm not even going to continue with the banter that I so politely tried to ignore!!
Really?? Did the guy asking me for change j and my leftovers just try to get with me??? Hmmmm so is our first date a dumpster dive?? And when I sleep over do I bring my own box or will he share his????????
So at forty I at the very least know that I have still GOT IT.... at the very least with the man on the corner.... See ladies there is no reason to stay in that relationship...... there is a new man on every corner... Literally, just bring a cheeseburger and some spare change....
Hey Shorty you look so good to me!!
Friday, November 13, 2009
What am I up to??? Where is the PARTY???
Hmmmm
Well a little disclaimer...... not sure if this will be funny, but just a streaming bunch of thoughts to kind of get you up to date!!
Who am I?? A forty year old empty nester that has discovered, rediscovered and is discovering life all over again at 40!!
What I discovered??
In the past year or so, ah give or take a couple..... I found a group of friends that just wants things to do!! Maybe mostly me but I think we are all having a great time=) Anywho, I have an amazing network of friends, very few business associates and a bazillion invites daily to all different kinds of events...... Let me regress back to business associates..... I say I have very few, because I don't much like to do "business" with someone I can't call friend..... My friends take care of me, and I hope I can take care of them... so that's what I mean by that!!
Ok now back to my purpose and where's the party......
Like I said I get lots of invites and I LOVE going to everything I can..... love planning events, hanging out in bars, listening to music.... dancing, talking and laughing, BUT most of the events have been geared towards the "younger set" (only in age mind you) So I wanted to make a forum for my age group.... the eighties babies and a little each way the grads from the 70's, 80's and early nineties. Parties and events where we can all hang together...... so my goal is to create lists of places, where we can have fun, meet different folks and have an amazing time..... Plus plan a few.....
I'm creating a website.... although I need LOTS of help.... =) That will have all the funny stuff, plus a directory of venues...... what I think of em....... and start planning events...
The first will be local to my old stomping ground.... A "Rock and Roll reunion"... stay tuned should be a BLAST!!
The sky is the limit..... let the good times begin!!
Well a little disclaimer...... not sure if this will be funny, but just a streaming bunch of thoughts to kind of get you up to date!!
Who am I?? A forty year old empty nester that has discovered, rediscovered and is discovering life all over again at 40!!
What I discovered??
In the past year or so, ah give or take a couple..... I found a group of friends that just wants things to do!! Maybe mostly me but I think we are all having a great time=) Anywho, I have an amazing network of friends, very few business associates and a bazillion invites daily to all different kinds of events...... Let me regress back to business associates..... I say I have very few, because I don't much like to do "business" with someone I can't call friend..... My friends take care of me, and I hope I can take care of them... so that's what I mean by that!!
Ok now back to my purpose and where's the party......
Like I said I get lots of invites and I LOVE going to everything I can..... love planning events, hanging out in bars, listening to music.... dancing, talking and laughing, BUT most of the events have been geared towards the "younger set" (only in age mind you) So I wanted to make a forum for my age group.... the eighties babies and a little each way the grads from the 70's, 80's and early nineties. Parties and events where we can all hang together...... so my goal is to create lists of places, where we can have fun, meet different folks and have an amazing time..... Plus plan a few.....
I'm creating a website.... although I need LOTS of help.... =) That will have all the funny stuff, plus a directory of venues...... what I think of em....... and start planning events...
The first will be local to my old stomping ground.... A "Rock and Roll reunion"... stay tuned should be a BLAST!!
The sky is the limit..... let the good times begin!!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Whale Love...... Nuff Said...
Ok yes...... my mind wanders...... and my luck is always so good with ridiculous timing...... I would play the lottery but I think my chances of finding the random in life is much more likely...... The Georgia Aquarium!!
No the music wasn't playing in the background..... I did in fact add it.......
No the music wasn't playing in the background..... I did in fact add it.......
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