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Friday, February 12, 2010

Valentine's Day!

The big V DAY (Valentine's Day) (and yes I still use the middle school joke VD and crack myself up!!) or for you singles out there Single Awareness Day, which disturbingly enough is referred to with he acronym SAD..... someone didn't think that through did they? Or is it a sick joke by a couple married for 3000 years?

I totally dig the Anti-Valentine's Party idea..... not because I am against love, simply i am against $300 bouquets of flowers that i will forget about and my favorite candy doesn't come in a heart. Not that I don't think couples should celebrate their love, they should but I think the more creativity involved the better.....

Which brings me to my gift...... for those that agree with the no flowers, I have enough jewelry, and really do I have to bite the ends off fifty chocolates before I get to one I like concepts of Valentine's holiday giving and aren't really creative, well there is a company out there for you!! Or for me and I am positive there are many more, but again this is my story about my gift....

Ahhh so my gift, well it seems the love of my life decided to "think outside the chocolate" box so to speak and found a company called that delivered edible arrangements. I am not going to name the company here, not because I don't want to give them a plug, but I am not looking at the tag right now and evidently they need to rethink it because it certainly didn't stick with me...... something to the effect of edible something or another, edible creations perhaps?

And anyone who knows me, knows I LOVE to eat junk...... the beautiful think about this edible gift is, well, it isn't junk it is cleverly disguised fruit, shaped and arranged like a bouquet of flowers, with the occasional apple or strawberry dipped in some sort of sugary goodness.... mmmm hmmm, I am all about sugary goodness.

Anyway that isn't the funny part of the day! It seems that this year in old Hotlanta... PLEASE I beg you do not really ever use this nickname in a sentence and NEVER ever say it out loud! However for the point of the story the nickname fits. Properly nicknamed Hotlanta do to the usually scorching heat and mild winters, it seems that this year on V day, mother nature must have been dumped and would rather celebrate SAD (single awareness day) because on the weekend claimed by lovers, it seems she decided to dump about 8 foot of snow on the good old state of Georgia, ok not eight foot but in Georgia measurement, considering we never get much snow, well it certainly seems like 8 feet.

Which brings me to the Edible Creation delivery fiasco.......

First attempt..... I am not at home, I am visiting with my mother they leave me a voice mail, in a very think foreign accent and evidently the word "SURPRISE" has no translation into English, otherwise they just don't like my gift giver and blew it. Or perhaps they figured they better say they were delivering rather than collecting given these tough economic times. Wow how bad would that suck? your so busy avoiding bill collectors that you never call back and your edible creation is torn apart by wild animals or rots on the porch.....YUM, you thought wilted flowers were bad, picture a perfectly manicured, carefully arranged bouquet of rotting fruit at your doorstep! OOOOHH that would rock if you were delivering Black roses to that B that broke you heart.... nothing says I hate you like 5 pounds of flower shaped rotting fruit! Ok I am off topic, as always..... point is I wasn't home, they called, left a message (telling what the surprise was) and asked me to call them back. They said they left a note.

Getting back to the Hotlanta and rotting fruit theme, I hope they never actually leave these on a porch... hmmmm unless of course they make a vegetable bouquet, in which case by the time you arrived home from work to get your gift it would be perfectly steamed...... now there is my next million penny idea!

Final Delivery.... the call back!
So they call back, not once, but several times, the phone was on vibrate so I didn't hear it, but they were determined to get me my fruit, so they blew me up like a scorned lover!

I called back! Explained that I wasn't at home and they said they would come to me..... how accommodating is that?? Again what a cool company, I will have to get that name, because tracking me down all over Georgia to deliver me some fruit well that is just down right special......Or maybe I am the only one getting fruit for Valentine's Day, it does, now that I reflect, seem quite peculiar, that on the BUSIEST delivery day of the year they not only blew up my phone but were also willing to track me down where ever I may be in the great state of Georgia. I hope they made a profit after all the driving, gas and vehicle maintenance costs......

Ok so I gave them the new address and they were on their way!!............. then I get a call...... it seems that in light of the Georgia blizzard, they have made it to the address, however the poor man on the end of the phone sounds very distraught. (My mother lives on 11 acres, with a very lone, now snow covered, driveway, where you cannot see the house until you are there) It seems that although they have made the trek and successfully hunted me down to push the vitamin C, he and his delivery partner can't get the van up the driveway. Well I had to giggle a bit and told him I would head down to pick it up.

Did I mention it is a rather LONG driveway? Well as I was making the drive, I noticed that the delivery man must have attempted to walk the fruit basket and accompanying items, as well as balloon to me..... there were footsteps halfway up and then what appears to be the "I have to turn around and call because I haven't a clue if this is really it and it is snowing" trail going back down.... I saw the foot steps, but I didn't see any van, then I see a man pop his head around a tree, seems they parked off to the side, I guess in case I came sliding down out of control, I wouldn't take out the fruit truck.....

So in true it can only happen to me fashion my V day gift was a caper to say the least..... Only I (the anti-exercise, cupcake junkie) would have a hike in the snow to get a healthful bouquet of fruit!!

I must say it was worth it! It was really quite something..... creative, delicious (yes they dipped a lot in sugary goodness) and as always entertaining!!

OH BUT WAIT!! THE best part of the bouquet as with any good product was the instructions. Obviously one would wonder..... what does one do with a huge basket of carved fruit in the guise of a flower arrangement?? Do I display it? (that brings us back to the concept of rotting) ..... and another aside.... HOW in the WORLD did they get all that peeled fruit not to be brown? I can't peel an apple quickly enough to where it doesn't look as if I need to peel it again... I may want to look into that. I tasted it so if it isn't real fruit then they do an amazing job with wax these days....

Back to the instructions.....

Evidently according to the instructions I should consume immediately or refrigerate after four hours..... REALLY?? Consume immediately? Not even a zoo animal could have consumed all of this fruit immediately. However for the gift receiver that CAN consume and entire basket of flower like fruit in one sitting, well, I hate to say it, but that is why you got fruit!!!

SO I would without question like to give a shout out to the greatest delivery service imaginable. If you are out of creative ideas, have no creative ideas or are just sick of sending over priced flowers with zero nutritional value then I suggest using edible arrangements. They are evidently extremely dedicated to ensuring customer satisfaction or my gift giver advised them I was a "B"..... hmmmmm now I am am wondering!

So before I posted, I got the name of the company... Edible Arrangements. And they have a great tag line " you plan the party and we'll make the arrangements" bah ha ha ha! No it is catchy and like I said DEDICATION to delivery! visit and tell them the Worst of Anything sent you!! <--- ok that was funny simply because they have no idea who I am and would probably look at you as if you were insane, but they may give you a discount because it does just seem crazy to tell someone the Worst of Anything sent you...... tell you what I will give them a call and see if they will give a discount if you tell them that =) Ha! If they won't then it is simply because they cannot afford the gas =)

1 comment:

  1. oh how i miss the "Georgia Blizzards", 1-2" of snow shutting down the entire city of Atlanta. As a yankee, friends would ask me to drive in the snow - and then I would reveal the secret to driving in the snow - you don't drive in it, it's slippery as all get out.