Doesn't everyone need an about us page? Chock full of ________ < I wanted to put a word there but Alas....I could not spell it, maybe it does not exist or I was sooo off even the best spell check was clueless... GO ME oh and of course some data, you know the "Get to Know me stuff..... wow that may take too long so I will post a bit of info, and feel free to ask questions! I would be happy to answer!
I wrote the above paragraph when I first started this blog and determined that I need to share my insight and infinite wisdom with he world.... ok, yea right! A couple little get to know me sections, then at the end, the "How" and "why" so to speak of the "Worst of Anything".
I still agree with the beginning of that thar, yes I am quite aware that thar, is not a word, but honestly I am beginning to give up on words and non words. And honestly, punctuation. I personally don't give up on it, although I am admittedly a little um how shall we say, STUPID there? OK maybe not stupid, but I evidently missed all the grammar rules and I could not diagram a sentence if my life depended on it, which luckily it never has and even more interestingly absolutely nothing has depended on it. I don;;t think any one has even uttered the phrase in my adult life or has it been required in any sort of testing or interview process, with the exception of my daughter wen she needed help. To which I instructed her that B's were acceptable, it still meant she knew 80% of the information and that I voted diagramming sentences be a part of the 20%. I cannot be sure I uttered that exact idea out, but I was certainly thinking it and I am sure we decided to do some mommy daughter thing that did not involve sentences nor diagrams. I feel very confident in my decision to forgo the sentence pictures in favor of , Oh I don't know Math perhaps? or Science? Blah blah blah, here came all of the grammar fiends with their red pens, PLEASE, relax, I am not anti grammar, I just missed all those classes, we moved a lot, and honestly I guess all those teachers felt sorry for the new "moves a lot" kid and never even mention the mystery sentence diagrams, evidently they knew I was not ever going to have a duel which required me to know my verbs adverbs, nouns, etc. HA! Like that huh? Now you think I am tricking you, nah not really I have Mad Libs and long road trios to thank for my reading prowess and grasp of inappropriate words being placed in inappropriate places, as you can see, Mad Libs had much more of an impact on my life and writing than a linear dissected word line, which you can interpret any way you like, but I did the Mad Libber in me and if I ever get elected to the School Board, well I think I m gonna see about that!
Ok so I guess that would be "childhood excerpt" dum dum dum dum, except it is excerpted from nothing more than the memory pocket that happened to come to the surface of my thoughts at that precise second. I have not thought about that, well since Frankie, my daughter asked me how to diagram a sentence. We know how that went. Ahhh forward to the amazingly talented polar opposite of me .... oh YEAH! I do not think there could be two more completely from head to toe opposites to one another. From her amazing blond hair and beautiful green or grey , depending on which day she is accusing ,e of not knowing the color of her eyes, but I promise you overall I may not dig kids that much, but I always dug and dig her.
She is super amazing and although she hates me sometimes ans doesn't "get me" I still freakin adore her and I think I "get her" more than she knows, she just doesn't believe me, but thats ok, she always loves me again and eventually I will become cool again. I have learned it cycles, and at very strange times, ah strange to me maybe not to others.
Ok back to the opposites and this section may run a little longer than the others, Because honestly I don't think I cared or paid attention to anything like I did her when she was born, and I know I have never cared about anything more. It is funny how that happens. My friends always teased me about "needing to find someone" and settling down, but that was high school and I was NOT looking for a husband, honestly I don't think I have ever been looking for a husband, but I have to say that although the "marital relationship" didn't play out that well, the coolest thing that anyone has ever helped me do was bring this amazing kid into the world (note very little help, I mean wow LITTLE help, I have determined that little in all caps actually according to the legend in my head means, very little.)
Where was I? Ah the amazing teen unit. She is blond, I am Brunette, She has the palest porcelain, perfect like
a china doll skin, I am olive complected and rather usual. She has green eyes (sometimes grey and used to be blue) eyes, I have brown, have had brown and I don't think they has even budged a shade. She has curves and is stunning like a model or I think Marilyn Monroe, she gets a lot of celebrities, Paris Hilton, and Taylor Swift when she does her hair all curly and she does a mean Brittany Spears impression. I am, according to my grandmother, God rest her soul, I loved loved loved that woman, well according to her I am "Built like a boy". Uhmm thanks GG I appreciate that check in the self esteem column. What she meant was a very scrawny awkward short boy, let;s see the last time someone came up to me and public and asked if I was Punky Brewster.... so Frankie gets the Gorgeous celebrities, I of course get rainbow socks. I do wear odd socks, I told Frankie I was going to single handily bring back tube socks and I saw the Coach shoe ads, and they are wearing socks with sandals, that was me I tell you and my tube socks and bikini!
Back to the "Amazing Ms. Frankie" that is a single blog post in itself, she dances, acts, plays guitar, writes music and sings, I can barely tune the radio and I am rather a geek, I do like to plan big parties and socialize, by socialize I mean listen to myself talk. She is calm and cool and I look like I have downed one too many pixie stick .... always. She is polished, feminine and hair always perfect, my roommate in college called me pic pen. It never mattered how I started for the door, by the time I reached my destination I was a frazzled, one too many pixie stix mess! I call us compliments of a triangle. We worked it out and I think we did a pretty good job of being mom and daughter. I know she did a great job of daughter. The hardest thing to do was watch the "Voice of Reason" leave my house and go off to college and me try to fend for myself as a grown up. I'm doing ok for the most part, I nearly overdosed on pixie sticks and cupcakes the first week, but I have evened it out since then!
So here I am out in the world alone at Forty (when I began this blog) , and now forty one, I am very proud to say that I made it, and that one can consume pixie stix and cupcakes and still maintain a youthful appearance, provided you are holding them in front of other adults.
That is really my secret to looking so young, I can't dress myself, I love tube socks and I seem to always be holding some sort of Dessert. I think the attire is the awkward part but well... yea follow the blog.... The Silver pant experiment...
Back to the About Us, no us, just me, just me here anyway, I am the "Worst of Anything", even incorporated, got a nifty little corporate stamp so I can make things official ye worst. HA! How about that?
The Worst of Anything is not about the Worst of Anything. It is kind of a play on words and a few words I had strung together in my brain for years. It is about the best of everything or finding the humor in it. Although I have had the name "Wort if Anything" in my head for years, I didn't know what to do with it until I realized that all of a sudden at forty my life was about to reinvent itself. Some ways are the obvious, daughter off to college, me trying to figure out what to do with myself, and realizing there were a whole lot of folks doing the same as me. So I started planning parties and events to bring all the 80's fans together with a couple of friends, began sharing the funny thoughts trapped in my head, Began the "View from the Stall" and the laughter and fun began. Somewhere in the midst of my "Welcome to Midlife, reinvent myself crisis (that is a song, I will post with his permission that sums up where we are at, I lost my job, VERY ok that time the ALL CAPS is to signify very being very BIG, unexpectedly and realized that I better figure out how to make The "Worst of Anything: work. So here we are a blog, a couple of websites and a lot of parties later and honestly. The ups and the downs all seem to look up.
So come join the fun, participation is a plus, and let the laughter begin........
Another new aside, I love the whole Kindle idea, it is truly brilliant, so bear with me as I figure it out, probably re post, mix it up and figure out how it all fits together.
The stories are somewhat in categories:
- Worst of Anything can be well, the Worst of Anything and a little bit of anything and everything!
- Then we have "The View From the Stall, the quest for the Clean public restroom in America" It started with a Cheese It! (Please feel free to send me pictures of any funny things you see along the way, I like of course the ridiculous things that are incorporate into the "Public Restroom" but the gallery will have a mix sometimes, so if you have an original "Funny" potty hotty pic, well send it my way! I will give you credit
- Then there is Love Vs Like My battle with FB and the fact that they are struggling through self esteem issues and dragging us all along with them. Not to mention I think a therapist would agree that they should be focusing on love relationships instead of enticing strangers to like them and follow them home.
