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Monday, May 31, 2010

Hippo with noodles on his back--best quality on YouTube

If Lady Gaga Shopped at Wal Mart

Not that my opinion counts, but upon marathon watching of music videos, I have concluded that Kesha is what Lady Gaga would be if she shopped at Wal-Mart... Justin Timberlake and Timberlake make me wish I had fed my daughter more fast food (late at night) and of course not gotten her braces... I am currently working on the remake "Feed your daughter lots of carry out so JT won't want her number, he won't be glad he came because she has thighs like thunder" Catchy if I do say so myself.

Ahh but back to Kesha.... ever hear a song that makes you think of Tiffany or Debbie Gipson? Kind of reminded me of that but, well I must say she was a bit older than I imagined. The Wal-Mart comes from a Saturday Night Live epsiode... yes full dress u, the Wal-Mart version of the Lady G herself..... I am a fan! I am ever impressed with promoters and their ability to make stars... Props
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The Good News........

Ahhhh.... the good news.... someone just turned to me and said "Why do they have to tell us that?" Why do we need to know that another child dies by accident?" To which I promptly responded, "would you watch if they did a report on the days soccer happenings at the local field, where everything turned out 'just fine'?"

The response of course was no, and we know that no one would watch............. hmmm although I am not sure how a purely sad story about a mistake is really news, but it evidently makes people watch and until folks want to hear the good news well I think that is how newscasts will stay.

So I thought about what makes it, even "News Worthy"? Doesn't seem to make it unless there is drama..... so since The Douglasville Business Alliance only got attention due to what I call an accidental annoyance, I certainly did not mean to be annoying, I thought "What else will make folks pay attention?" How about "Douglasville Saturday Night Live?" except on a Thursday and a local cast? Plenty to satire..... hmmm who wants to be the mayor? Or at least play on on TV? =)

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Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Devil Dating Dot Com, and Christian singles

Ahhh peculiar, yet understandable as it is.... there is a dating site for Christian Singles...... so I wish to start my own site Devil Dating Dot Com and of course begin the listings with my exes......and judging from most of the conversations folks have regarding their exes I certainly know all these scoundrels need somewhere to go, we certainly don't want them tainting the waters of the Christian dating scene........... I think I am on to something. I almost feel like I have found my purpose...... Ok Maybe not but you can never tell who will sign up.

Oh Yeah, I Did In Fact Place That Ad With This Post! HA!


I promise you that is a real link to a real site...... I wouldn't make that up!

Or I suppose Devil Dating Dot Com, For all of you who couldn't find a date on Christian singles and told them to go to ...... Ahem

Sunday, May 16, 2010

How to get a MAN any man to send you sweet text messages ALL day, and even your best friends man! READ before you judge! Good stuff here!

Single? Lonely? Want to know how to get ANY man or woman to shower you with I love yous all day?

Want someone to send you sweet texts all day long so you can strategically leave the phone in viewing distance of the beast in your office that is always talkin bout his/her game? Dates? or the mushy mushy lovey dovey couple talk?

Well here you go, never fails, and leave it once again to the face book gods to yes take away the businesses self esteem (read the life vs. love rant) but give away self esteem for everyone else to "Share the Love (or like)"

Trick is to find that couple, we all have them, those dear friends that are so in love (I may have just .... oh never mind, must be something I ate. KIDDING KIDDING, if she reads this, I am kidding, I totally and completely adore the way he talks to you, I would have it no other way. You my sweet friend deserve NOTHING but the VERY BEST!). Ok and back to the instructions:

1) Find early morning couple that as they are sitting next to each other drinking their coffee in the morning wearing matching robes (I am imagining matching robes, not not like that you sicko) . This couple, completely made up in my head named coincidentally Robin and Jeff, strictly a coincidence, I promise, I mean come on with all of the crazy being stored in my brain how can I possibly also store unique names. I mean really, I might lose something important if I said Ginger and Joe.... see there ? two new names and I lost my train of thought. Is that how it is spelled? Train of thought? like Choo Choo Train of thought? I have evidently been derailed by Ginger... Back on the tracks gotta get this train a rollin, so we can all share the love train love train, see how I worked that song in there? Stuck in your head now huh? People all over the world now on a love train, love train. Ok back to the "How to get I love yous sent to your text inbox all day long. (even if you haven't had a date since Sadie Hawkins, in 3rd grade..... 20 year ago... ) 

I completely, as always wandered off topic.... ok back on track As this amazing couple  sips their coffee and share the sugar they sweetly leave each other a sweet, good morning, I love you bunches, had a great weekend... love love love love love love love.. kiss kiss kiss kiss. ..they  are truly and completely  adorable as they leave each other face book messages. 

AND when they do ..... Here is your chance. Remember the like button I thought Facebook was pimping itself out with? Well it may be there lure to get strangers to follow them home but it is your opportunity to be endlessly showed with I love you ALL day! Because, they really are in love and adorable and all the things I, I mean you despise (AGAIN KIDDING) and they will do it throughout the day. So if you hit the LIKE button, every time the send a sweet message it looks like it comes straight to you, I mean they don't need to name each other every time it is on their wall you are just in great social networking tradition, prying needlessly into the lives of others trying to get at least a thrill since as hard as you try you cannot talk you boss into the monthly company Sadie Hawkins Dance, oh but you hang in there, you will either get your dance or as other kitty explains, there is always another stray kitty that will wander into your life looking for some food, unless of course you are a complete DOG! Bah ha ha ha, I simply could not resist, I am absolutely amazed and astonish at the wit that comes out of the conversations in my head, almost as brilliant as my fashion choices... ahhh.... oh there I go again. 

The point is hit the like button, the sweet texts come to you and NO one has a clue! Honestly who would be the wiser? I don't think this blog post is going to go viral  and in the last post (like vs love) I figured out that only half of my so call fans liked me, so the secret is safe! Unless someone else has figured this out.... surely not, I am not surpassed in my GENUS (yes intentionally spelled incorrectly because of a serious face book description I read once, apparently in all there brilliance they are afforded with the one thing they could not afford was a spell check. I on the other hand, do not claim to be a genus, genius or a writer or a speller. If you want some one with good grammar you are in the VERY wrong place!

So short version-
1) Watch for in love couple to do the start of the day text.
2) Like it! I don't mean you really have to like it, I know it is killing you, hit the LIKE button idiot, I mean umm person who needs self esteem boost because none ever really sees you for the truly awesome blossom that you are (nit the onion) but that works either way huh? I am going to say that often. No one will have a clue whether I am describing them as a beautiful flower or a slightly spicy vegetable that will probably make them miserable shortly after the pleasure of digesting......
3) Get amazing I love yous all day long and never have to shave your legs!! (I don't know what the guy version of that would be, some one wants to clue me in, I am game)

So go to sleep tonight knowing you will be loved all day tomorrow!

A little background, because when it happened I nearly fell out of my chair laughing. I love love love that girl and he has been amazing, always the sweet messages, even lets her come out with me for girls night and partake in my very disturbing dance moves, that resemble a distance learning program for a  truck driving school. One day I was on fb in the morning and they said something sweet and I hit like because it made my heart smile. A little later on in the day I looked down at my phone and it was a sweet I love you message from Jeff! I thought who the heck is Jeff and why is he sending and before I got the me out to myself yes one of my usual one sided conversations I realize which Jeff it was and knew exactly what had happened and literally was laughing to the point of tears, with coupled with the fact that I was talking to myself removed all doubt to the rest of the shoppers of my mental stability and I was miraculously at the front of the check out line at grocery rush hour with two carts full of single scan items and all the random coupons I could grab that truly do not go to anything in my card yet make me particularly entertained as the poor girl tries to "let me down" easy as she has to tell me I can't us that because I didn't have the right product. One of these days I am going to have to work my ways into little sad tears as I nod and go ok, I am so sorry ma'am I hoped I could. Ok I don't do that never even thought of it until just now, but if you want to run the video camera, I certainly would love to dive it a shot!

Have a beautiful day! Much Love!